To Our Kids… Being A Parent Isn’t Easy

I am writing this blog to my kids, Thom, David, Sarah, Skye, James and Patrick. In a few weeks we will all be going in different directions.

Thom the oldest and the one who is always there when we call, sometimes holler, Thom. You do what ever we may ask, sometimes with a grumble, but haven’t we all grumbled about things in our lives. You will be going with mom and I to Prince Edward Island and start a new adventure with us.

David moved out a few years ago, more years ago than I can really remember. Your married to Samantha and the two of you have three handsome sons, Jayden, Ethan and Rory.  You have found out I am sure, both of you the joys of being a parent.

Sarah, our oldest daughter. You will be moving to an apartment with Pat and starting an adventure of your own. Adventure number three for you, remembering England and the first time you had an apartment. You wanted to try the world on your own. Grandma and everyone here helped you get to England and we were here to help when circumstances said you had to get back.

Skye, our quiet one. Skye is the daughter that quietly sits by seeming to enjoy the quiet life, all the while you are there with Sir Winston. You will be joining us in our new adventure and who knows where that will lead you, maybe that Tiny House that you would love to have on acres of land.

James, our basketball star. You have had your ups and downs, no I’m not referring to stuffing the ball in the hoops, but you have always come out on top. You are on your own adventure, spreading your wings. A new job, a new home and all the “fun” entailed in being on your own.

Patrick, the worker, the youngest and the own who always has something going, from selling pencils in school to helping put lumber in people’s vehicles. Your testing your freedom as you start out on life’s adventure after school.  You and Sarah will be sharing an apartment. Chloe and Poppy will be fine friends.

Now that you have read that you are wondering why I said all of that, right? Well as you go out on your own Mom and I want you to know that we are always here for you! Each of you are a unique individual, with special talents of your own, that have developed over your life. Each of you have had ups and downs, happy times, sad times, good times and tough times. 

Through out your life you have been able to come and seek help for numerous things, I think Julie and I have been through school seven times each, once on our own and one times for each of you. Helping to finish projects left too late. Meeting with teachers to discuss your successes. Picking you up from school when the teacher calls and say you have lost your voice. Being there for the occasional football, basketball or rugby games.

What you may not realize is that when you become a parent they don’t give you a manual on how to be a parent. It is trial by fire from the moment we first hold you to the day we breathe our last breath. Yes, we will always be your parents. We will be there to help with advice, the sometimes needed bag of milk, a shoulder to cry on, lean on. We will always have a place for you to “stay for a few nights”, a place at the dinner table.

Being a parent means giving of yourself before taking care of yourself. It means that we always put our kids first through life. Then as you grow you sometimes start to think that the grass is greener at your best friends’ home. Why can’t I have that my friend has one? Hey mom will bake some cookies, I really like chocolate chip and had some at my friends house they were great? I need a new bike, the one you got me last year is all rusted and bent, can we go now and get one we have a class bike ride tomorrow.

Oh, yes the parental money tree never runs out. You didn’t always get what you asked for, but a great amount of the times you did. There were times when we needed new shoes, shirts or other pieces of clothing that we redirected funds to get the things you absolutely needed. You will never know what or when we did, why did we do it, because you are once of our kids and you needed something, we did it out of love.

We really are no different than most other parents out there. None of us were parents before, the closest we ever were was being someone else’s kid. We made the same kind of requests, we thought we didn’t get what we needed and more. We thought one of our siblings was more favoured or got more than us. We thought, “when I grow up and have kids I won’t…”  There is a good chance that when you grow up and have kids you will do…! You will know you have because you will hear a little voice that lets you know you just did what we did and that you swore you never would.

Over the last couple of years everyone had to help pitch in and help the family. Whether it was a loaf of bread, a bag of milk, pizza for the family or more. We did as a family! Things indeed have been tight, but we did it together. You may feel you chipped in more than another and it may be true, but remember the time when they felt you got more help than them.

Remember all the sacrifices mom and I may have made to help each of you get to where you are today. Some of you listened to our advice, some didn’t, the choice was yours to make, that is part of growing up. Grumbling because you did this and that person didn’t or because we didn’t quite thank you each time the way you think we should have, maybe you were thanked in other ways, ways you didn’t recognize.

Let me tell you a short story. When I was a teen one of my grandparents passed away and left each of the grandchildren some money. My dad had his own business, he was short of funds to meet some required payments and asked if he could borrow the money from me. He said he would pay it back. It seemed to me that he never did, but looking at the whole story made me realize that he did and then some. He made sure that I had a car, when I was raising my boys he was there with some money more than once when I needed it. You see we may not recognize things when they happen, or may not be willing to recognize it but parents are always there whether we see it or not.

Parenting never ends. Being a child of a parent never ends. Knowing how to parent is a learning experience, no parent is perfect. We try and do our best, some times we fail, some times we pass, hopefully we pass more frequently.

Parents love their children unconditionally, for better for worse. We will always be there for you, we are family!

In The Quietness Of The Morning You Can Hear Volumes!

 I often get up between 5 and 6 a.m. in the quietness of the house you can hear things you don’t during the hours that everyone is awake.

As the world starts to wake up, you hear the birds chirping. What an inspiring sound! I love listening to the birds around our house as they start their days. Different songs can be heard as they wake up and let their neighbours know they are there.

The occasional car passing lets you know that you are not the only one awake at this hour. These folks are on their way to work, to visit people, travelling some where. They were up earlier than me and I wonder how they can do it, getting up and going before five. I need an hour to come into the fully awake version of myself, it also means I need a lot of coffee.

The sound of the coffee brewing. Once I have been up for a few minutes I grind some coffee beans, pour them into our percolator, then plug it in. Listening to the sound of the percolator going through its paces, making that black/brown liquid that aids in my waking up. A good cup of coffee takes a few minutes to brew and it is worth the wait.

The thoughts that run through your mind. No, I am not talking about “the voices” in my head. We all have moments when our minds are running through the day, week, month ahead. In those thoughts there may be some little thought that gives you inspiration for those times ahead. We all need times to be able to sit and listen to ourselves think, moments where our dreams and desires come out.

Don’t let your life dreams and desire die!

Small Business, What The World Needs Now

Our country was built by farmers, independent business men, family businesses, all small businesses. Canada grew from these people working hard for themselves, for their families. I believe that this is where we need to return to, the small family business, where employees care, customers count and return business no matter the dollar spent is important!

I have worked for both small family businesses, my own small business, and large companies and world wide corporations. The ones that care about their; employees, customers and community the most the small business man. The larger companies are around for the proverbial bottom line, everything between the front doors and the bottom line are only a means to achieve the bottom line.

The world has become so lost in the in big box stores, mega corporations, corporate owned or controlled farms the small business has become all but forgotten. Recently, there has been a growing movement to return to small business, it couldn't have come at a better time.

Having a group of people who care about what they make, create, sell. Having people who want to help people find what they need and NOT sell them all the possible add on accessories possible because that is what the boss wants. Small businesses where the product being sold was made with care, by people who care. Businesses where employees are a lot more than just a number, whose opinions count, where the customer is respected and their business matters more than what they added to the day’s numbers and the bottom line at the end of the quarter.

Backwoods Country Arts is a small family business. We work with locally sources base products so that we keep local people and families employed. I have my children working with me, not that any of them are children, they have all graduated high school. Over the last year or so we have seen growth in sales, I believe partially because we care!

 The largest part of our products are hand-painted and hand crafted signs, signs for in home and outdoor décor. We make everyone with care, they are not mass produced, everyone is created when ordered.  We have had repeat orders, recommendations to others who have bought.

I have taken all that I have learned thus far working for family businesses and large companies and I am trying to blend the best of both into our new family business. We offer personal caring service like a small business would, we watch what people want and changes in the market like the big businesses. We don’t try and “upsell” anybody, we don’t try to sell more and more to the customers’ order.  We want all of our customers to come back because we did what they wanted, helped them with their needs.

It is time for the entrepreneurs to work for local community, local people, look at old principles and revive them. “Do unto others as you would have done unto you”, not “Do add everything to that order before the other realizes what you have done to them”.

Small business built the world we live in; large corporations have brought us to ruin in so many ways. Let’s bring back the ways of our fore fathers where we care about our business because we care about the customers, employees and all the things that make that business successful. 

http://www.backwoodscountryartsstudio.com/

A New Year… Time To Reflect On The Past

 We have seen the year 2015 slip away and become 2016. With the passing of a year people sit and reflect on the year that has gone on before, the good the bad, things hoped for and unexpected events.

I have seen some 57 years come and go, the early ones I don’t remember and I doubt any of us would remember our very early years. I have some childhood memories, more memories from my teens and the memories become clearer as I get older.  My live has had its ups and downs and some events that I wish didn’t happen. I am no different than any one in that aspect of life.

As I was looking at some of my art work over the Christmas break I saw a paddle that my wife Julie has used to decorate a part of our home. It is a scene of a Muskoka chair sitting on a dock over looking a lake. The scene brings back memories of our cottage and sitting by the lake watching the loons on the lake. It reminds me of our children and the fun they had, paddle boat races, building log rafts and racing to the floating dock.

I had memories of painting canoe paddles for people, with many scenes of Canada. Canadian farms, islands off our West Coast, Mules pulling wagons, old train stations in Northern Ontario and more.

Memories of my late wife and I living in Nanaimo and leaving our home to go skiing up Island with friends. Living in Kapuskasing Ontario and the cold weather that makes you appreciate Southern Ontario’s “cold Weather.”  Watching bald eagles fly both on the Island and in Kap.

Memories of Julie and I and our blended family looking for a cottage off the beaten path, the number of places we looked at before finding the perfect one. Camp fires, roasting marsh mellows, camp fire pies. Sing along’, sleeping in tents, walking in to the cottage in winter, rebuilding the cottage and more.

All of that goes into my art, it is a life filled with adventures on and off the beaten. I have always loved small towns, towns that aren’t thriving metropolises. It is there that you see the real beauty of our world, our country.

Small town Canada, where people care about their neighbours, say hello to people on the street as they walk by, whether they know them or not. Where you can walk down the street and go fishing off the pier by the pump house with your grand father. Where you can drive out of town and see bears, deer, moose. Where you can look out your font window and see birds galore. Small towns where your neighbours shovel driveways for their neighbours just because.

These are memories that I have tried to put into my artwork. It is there either visually or in the time spent creating a piece.

As you look at something in your home, what memories are triggered. I hope you can reflect on your life and take a minute to enjoy it. Happy 2016 and may the year ahead bring you love, joy and peace.